This month a series of events allowed me to become aware when I was in resistance and therefore blocking the flow of universal love and joy. I participated in Emmanuel Dagher’s Core Attunements that discussed Evolved Wealth where he discussed service and tithing, which brought up some resistance and resistance was the purpose of the meditation. I had to observe what was being triggered, which was partially caused by my understanding of the biblical implications of ‘tithing’ and also my fear around not being open to this offering of love. I wasn’t really clear what ‘tithing’ meant to me. However, Emmanuel clarified that our giving of time is also tithing and that prior to us accepting financial compensation our time was and still is an acceptable form of tithing. However I had resistance to this. I knew how I freely offered my time but did I openly offer a percentage of my time and/or money to service the world? Do I have an expectation of personal gain when I write my blogs or offer my radio/YouTube interviews? Or do I do this as well as other services to unconditionally ‘gift’ the world and make it a better place?
The other resistance that came up for me was around abandonment. This past 10 days my boy Jasper got frightened over a raccoon that, to Jasper, threatened his territory. Cats are extremely territorial! It took too long to get this raccoon out of the house: 30 minutes of screaming and using a broom handle to scare the unscarable (not a pretty sigh). This created a huge amount of anxiety – of which I had never seen – in my beautiful, loving boy Jasper. He no longer felt safe in his own home. And when he wasn’t coming home to sleep, it triggered my abandonment issues. I kept focusing on the pain of Jasper not coming home and taking it personally. I was in resistance again.
So these two unnerving experiences – around tithing and abandonment – allowed me to be open to a new book being released by Gabby Bernstein “The Universe Has Your Back!´ as well as Gabby’s video The Art of Manifesting: 5 Secrets to Attracting What You Want Video Workshop. Combined with Emmanuel’s meditations I was able to begin to see some important pieces to how I fall into resistance and block what the universe is waiting to offer. The 2nd experience was far more important to me as I was observing a core belief: abandonment. Abandonment, as most of you know, is something I have been working on all my life. What I had to realize was regardless of what was happening to Jasper it did not have anything to do with him abandoning me. However, my focus on how I was feeling and the emptiness that it was reflecting or the pain of abandonment, it was that feeling that was keeping me in resistance to being open to shifting my focus on what I wanted.
The problem for most of us is that we have a goal and instead of keeping our vibration on what we want – so that the Universal Flow of love, joy, peace or consciousness can bring around this possibility – we instead focus on the lack, the opposite of what we want or the absence of what we want. As soon as we even say what we ‘want’ we are often already thinking of it because of what we don’t want! We want to lose weight, but we continually focus on the weight we want to lose, measuring and weighing ourselves instead of having a clear picture of what we want and not worrying about how it comes about. We want financial security but we worry about our bills. We want health and well-being but we focus on the pain or on what isn’t working. Do you see the flaw there? The Universal flow of Love, Joy and Well-being exist at all times and we receive exactly what we are asking for at any given time. However, what we are asking for is usually the opposite of what we want.
If you are experiencing anything you don’t want it won’t change unless you shift your focus from that to allowing and receiving this flow of Love, Joy and Well-being.
I knew Jasper was teaching me a very important lesson and I couldn’t easily allow him to make his own choices if I was stuck in thinking this was about me being abandoned. He couldn’t heal his safety issues if I was stuck in my own. He needed space to heal but I could only focus on the pain I was experiencing. Just like the fear of believing I wasn’t making a difference by unconditionally serving and tithing.
When our fears get triggered we fall back into patterns that keep everything stuck. I knew these were my issues and that if I couldn’t shift out of them I would continue the patterns.
Unfortunately, I completely believed that Jasper was fully on the road to recovery, only to discover that he had far serious conditions. I dedicated a blog to Jasper, which you can read here. I only hope that I have the strength to remember the love he shared with me over these years as a true blessing and not get triggered by my abandonment issues.
So, how do we open ourselves to the resistance so we can shift back into the Infinite Flow of Love, Joy and Well-being? We have to move out of linear time. We have to shift into the Now moment where we aren’t focused on our past triggers or our worries about the future. The Now moment will allow us to connect with our Divine Spark, our True Essence of BEing. Our truth lies within us and we can choose – when we are consciously in the Now moment – whether we want Fear or Love! It’s only when we are in the ever present moment that we can even observe what we are feeling instead of being lost in our minds, lost in either the past or the future. Once we are aware we can then make a choice. We can step out of our pain and fear and overcome our resistance as we step into our true essence with the power to receive LOVE and to know JOY!