(What started as one long blog, became 7 smaller pieces so that you can read and integrate the information.) This past summer and fall, I learned a huge piece in healing and one that many people (including myself) are unwilling or unable to do. It is the piece called letting go.
Many of us, for many reasons need to let go of situations, people and beliefs that are holding us back from experiencing the bliss, peace and love we deserve to experience. We maybe holding onto a person from the past, not believing we are worthy of another love, holding onto our past mistakes that hold us in a pattern of blame of self or the other. Not being able to forgive or forget, keep us stuck in the past, unable to move forward. Or stuck in the future, believing we are not worthy of receiving new love that would be even better!! And there in lies the problem to most of our pain and suffering. We are stuck in a pattern of regret or blame from the past or a fear of what the future might or might not hold for us.
Letting go, an act of surrender, is an essential piece of our healing process. For many, it is a person that we are unwilling to let go of. Quite often it is a past love, but, it is often someone who we can’t forgive. Letting go is essential for us to live in the present moment and to heal our suffering. When we are blaming someone or self, when we are holding onto a relationship that is over, we are keeping ourselves in the past and stuck from moving forward toward a relationship that will nurture and support us in our growth. We are prohibiting ourselves from growing, because we are holding onto something that we can’t let go of. This stagnates our energy, and is surprising how damaging it is to our spiritual growth.
I am sure you remember the old saying:
If you love something, let it go
If it comes back to you, it is yours (not sure anything is actually ever ‘ours’, I think everything is on loan- including our own body)
If it doesn’t, it never was
Letting go, often has to do with the past and the future beliefs we hold. The past is full of regrets, suffering, and pain. Our ego holding on to something that feels like it was done to us. Trying desperately to make it right, by holding onto it and reliving it. Our ego needs to be right and regardless of the situation, you can always perceive your way as right. The ego rarely is able to step outside of the inner turmoil and look at the bigger picture or understand the other person’s point of view. This kind of behavior that is held onto, holds anger and pain, and when it is held, dis-ease follows. Sometimes we get into the self blame, wishing we could do something differently and our ego plays on this to make us believe that we will never find someone good enough or as good as this last person. Either way it is an ego problem or identity issue. Often we are holding onto the past and reliving it, or we are projecting into the future. Both can occur too, and when you hold onto the past, the future is created anyway. One may have more fear projection, the other is a pattern that we learn to expect.