A piece of my soul was taken away on Oct 1, 2016 and graciously received back to Source. I now know what the terms “Beloved”, “Soul-Mate”, “Soul-Group” and “Twin Flame” all mean. They are all pieces of our one Soul; of course technically we are all part of the same “One” Soul. However, we have individuated and here to experience life and make choices between love and fear. When we gather together to create a Soul Group we separate out pieces of a larger Soul Consciousness and divide up how we will assist one another to Evolve our Consciousness and experiences.
Years ago I had a reading from someone who said, I would be in a relationship with a man with white hair, who was beautiful and would heal my heart. I just always assumed this meant a ‘man’. I never expected it to be my Beautiful, Happy, and Loving Boy Jasper.
The experience that triggered his end came because it was supposed to, a raccoon of all things, something he was well acquainted with, but this triggered an animal instinct within him that caused him to feel he wasn’t safe in his own home. Of course the tumor had been there for some time, he just never showed me anything until the past two weeks. The stress from this event must have pushed his tumor into a place that blocked off fluids from going through his body to within his body. This caused him to go into mostly instinctual behaviors. When I got the devastating news Fri and Sat, he was still stressed and very uncomfortable, as well as not feeling safe. Once the heartbreaking decision was made, that meant I couldn’t be selfish and fight for him, I let others know. Our neighbors came to say goodbye, my landlady wept openly as we shared what a special boy he truly was and my best friend Vivi came to help me in my time of need. She had just held him and listened to his thoughts and concerns about me. And about 15 mins before I had to take him to the vet, I once again held him. It was this time that he finally let go of the stress he had been holding onto. He finally went silent in my arms and closed his eyes. I heard part of his words, and the rest came to me since that moment.
He has been with me for many, many lifetimes. He always came as my ‘familiar’, coming in at times when he was needed. He came when my father passed away at 13 as Skippy, he was Spirit who many of you knew, who came to assist my spiritual journey (irony not lost on me) and he came as Jasper when I needed to heal my heart after a difficult breakup, but of course it was a heart that was broken since birth (and lifetimes before that). He told me I was finally ready to open my heart to another and as long as he was there, I wouldn’t be fully open to this. And of course he was right. I must have told him a hundred times a day; I loved him with all my heart. And he filled my emotional needs as well as spiritual. As long as he was there, I wasn’t open to have someone else in my heart. He filled my heart completely with his unconditional love. He was there to make me laugh when I was sad or depressed. He knew exactly what I needed emotionally. And today, I realized that he taught me everything about the Power of the Heart, since being with me. He was my guide spiritually that downloaded what I needed to know. What I needed to remember.
The pain of losing a piece of me that has filled my heart with love has been unbearable. I know he will come back, but he will have a new purpose and will not be the same Beautiful, Happy and Loving Boy. And my heart knows that this time he will be a she. She won’t interfere with my relationship. But fulfill another purpose. My heart knows that everything will be all right, but the part that feels the emptiness misses him with all my heart! He was my heart for 8 and a half years. And I’ll miss all the things he did that made him Jasper! Trotting down the sidewalk towards me; jumping on my shoulder; butting his head into mine to share his affections; announcing himself when he arrived home, waiting for me after he walked part of the way with me to do my errands or go out for dinner; sleeping on my belly and chest while he purred and of course his beautiful tongue that was always slightly out of his mouth. My neighbors and friends have all their own stories of how Jasper touched their lives. He didn’t just heal my heart; he touched the heart of everyone who met him.
To the Love of my Heart, I will miss you terribly! Till we meet again!