As we observe the colder than average winter, we begin to long for spring and warmer weather. Our groundhogs have unanimously decided that we are in for another 6 weeks (although, our meteorologists were already confirming this). On a brighter note, this is the shortest month of the year and the one I have declared as “Love Month”. We allow ourselves an opportunity to open our hearts during this cold, short month because of one day. Unfortunately, many put so much emphasis and expectation on this day to be perfect and set it as a benchmark for how love will show up in their lives.
Valentine’s Day is a lovely opportunity to look at our lives and see what we truly desire in love. Love, first and foremost, should be appreciated from our own hearts. Asking ourselves what does love mean to us? Is it open and flowing or full of disappointments? Do we know Love from inside, or do we only know love from how others have given it to us? Do we share love or covet it like there will never be enough? Is it safe for us to love?
These questions are important to our definitions of love and who we continue to bring into our lives. Love almost always is defined through our parents, how they interacted with one another and with us. The imprint of these interactions are often unconscious, yet they are ever present in our day to day lives.
We often continue to play out these same patterns all our lives. Yet, we have the opportunity to become the observer and evolve our relationships. As with most growth, it must occur within us first. The goal is to become aware of what is operating in our unconscious that is sabotaging our best efforts to nurture love in our own hearts and our relationships with others. We must understand our relationship with self and who we are from the bigger picture. Are we generous, open and compassionate to ourselves? Are we unavailable, thinking only of ourselves and withholding love unless it is proven worthy or our expectations have been met?
Let’s face it, we usually have expectations and needs when it comes to love. We often manipulate and try to control how we get love to meet our needs. Or give love when others meet our expectations. And it is often difficult to just BE in relationship with self and others.
When it comes to love, I invite you to let things just unfold! That way you don’t have to make a quick judgment of the person or relationship (no matter how long you have known them). Judgments are debilitating because once made we then keep them held within a defined box with perceptions and choices restricted to our original judgment. The thing is nothing is how we perceive it, nor is it possible for our perceptions to be accurate, because our past experiences and our judgments are always influencing what we perceive. If you can release the ideas you have created around yourself and others, you can be free of the drama within your life. And you can observe the real unfolding of life. Instead we usually are trying to manipulate and control everything to have it fit our expectations.
That is why it is so important to be open and allow things to unfold, especially when it comes to love! Love is like a flower opening up to the sun! It breathes the sun into itself and allows it to grow. I believe we can be this open with regards to love. To let go of the pain associated with our first introduction to love and redefine what love means to us. We do however, have to begin with ourselves! Share love openly to yourself as well as to others. Focus on the giving of Love and not on the receiving of necessary needs and controlling expectations. Understand the choices that keep you stuck in your misperceptions of love. Love is always evolving and unfolding all around us. God is always showing us how we can evolve. As we evolve, our understanding of what Love is changes. It is Love that feeds our soul and evolves our consciousness. When we can BE and let life unfold, we are embraced in the dance of life. If you desire more love in your life (whether new or renewed) then give unconditionally of your heart and let love unfold freely.