We need to learn to express our authenticity, the natural Soul Essence that is us. If we can look deep enough in our hearts, what we all seek is to be loved and accepted for who we are.
Unfortunately, many of us were convinced that who we were, was not good enough. As a result, from our childhood onwards, we have not been authentic. We have tried to be someone we think everyone else will love. Authenticity is the freedom to remember who we are, by loving and accepting ourselves as we are. When you can uncover this love within you, you won’t be bound by what others think and feel.
Being authentic in all relationships is key. It must begin with ourselves and then move outward. It is primarily about the choices we make. Most of the time we are reacting from fear. How we were taught to love is often a result of manipulation and control. Most of our relationships center around love that has conditions, by fulfilling our wants and desires. For example, I will love you as long as you fit my fantasy “relationship”. Mark Borax talks about radical intimacy, where we trust our partners enough to grant us the power to show us what we are not ready to see about ourselves. Relationships have the ability to show us our shadows, and we can then choose to accept them as part of who we are. This allows us an opportunity to respond from a place of love, which can transform our shadows and allow us to be loved and accepted for who we are, not who we think we should be.
Unconditional love is what we all seek. Instead, we hide our true selves and try to be someone else. Then we feel we are unheard, unseen, we build resentments and slowly shut down. We keep ourselves distracted through our addictions, reflecting on our pain from the past and projecting our fears in the future. When we are in the present, we can be more authentic; this honors our Self and allows for healing to begin.
Self love means to become very conscious of all the “personalities” we have chosen. It is also about learning to choose to respond to situations from your authentic self, instead of unconsciously reacting from fear and our outdated behaviors. Relationships are where we learn the most about who we are, whether it is friends, family, co-workers or romantic relationships. When we choose to be authentic, we choose to love and accept ourselves for who we are. This allows our Soul Essence to shine, and allows us to fully live our lives, while keeping our hearts open.